bullets

• I think all posts ( as few and far between as they are) may exist in this format I like it!

• The boys were Mario and Luigi, they enjoyed there night even though we didn't stay out to long, there was no one out there and few houses had lights on!

• I was recently swarmed by ladybugs, here are a 1/16 or so of the ones that came at me well I was trying to put up the storm door!
  
• Calvin has decided that being involved is the cool things to do ( it keeps him outta trouble) he was recently on the cross country team and was beyond proud of his Jersey - this would be him pretending to run in the playroom

• I am really tired this afternoon and sadly a nap is not in plan
• I went for my H1N1 vaccine today and did not have to wait all day, 3 hours start to finish and I must say it wasn't so bad - it must off been the good company. The boys can bring on the germs now and I will not end up sick. I will get them immunized when it does not take 3 hours of waiting in line.
• We have no milk and little food in the fridge so I really need to get of the computer and get my butt to the store before I have to pick up the boys.
  

It is a sad state of affairs

They are beginning the mass exodus and I am not going, it is a sad state of affairs. Those of you who are knitters know exactly of which I speak. They have started to depart and gather and I am home doing dishes ( well I should be doing the dishes but I can't do that and type) and canning pears. I like pears but I think that perhaps Rhinebeck holds a little more excitiment than a weekend home alone with my monkeys. You see I am not at the happiest palce on earth this weekend because P is away and there is no way that I was taking the monekys to Rhinebeck, it is my fun and I wouldn't want them to realise that it is fun to go and frolic with friends while fondling yarn.

That being said I must go and get them from school... next October can't arrive soon enough.

Busy with life

So we decided to finish the junk room this summer. There have been some pictures but I thought I would give you some good before and after shots. It really was a room full of junk much of had been there since before I lived in this house

We sorted and pitched lots of garbage. It was a long haul, especially since there was a another room full of junk that we also sorted and made into a cold room, just beyond the door in the picture above this one.

Look at what a few months, a lot of work and some creativity has done. That box on the wall hides the electrical panel. There is an outside door, a storage cupboard(wine rack) and lots of toy storage.

There is an entrance for the monkeys and an extra cupboard for toys and such, it still needs to be painted.

There is a family room space, I figured you didn't need a picture of the TV, it's a screen that makes noise and pictures.

There is a subliminal message for the kids on the wall.

I have also been processing food, lots of food, there are tomatoes of every type stored in every possible way.

There is fruit canned and waiting to be canned

and there are lots of green tomatoes waiting to be salsa. We had serious frost here this weekend
, we picked the tomatoes and turned on the heat. I won't tell you what I found in the furnace when I changed the filter!

Oh and how could I forget, Fudge is 8! We had a video game party complete with Wii Remote cakes and homemade pizza - they were happy boys!

PS - we stil have a resident chipmunk, anyone got any humane ideas for getting him out?

Alvin, Simon, Theodore

The boys are back at school, it makes me happy most days! I am busy trying to get the rest of the reno's done so I can move on to other things like finishing that shawl that I started this summer and putting the garden and it's reamining produce to bed for the winter.

The weather is cooling and some chipmunks decided out house was the place to be. There were 2 here the other day, we chased one out and then there was another that I couldn't catch. I think that he has taken up residence in my bedroom ceiling - lucky me.


It's not an exciting post but a post it is. I must get to pizza crust, paint and laundry becaue I am running away to toronto tomorrow for a night with some friends and a much needed break.

summer 09

(Click on the collage to make bigger)

As you can see it has been a long and boring summer and there was no fun had by anyone big, small, with shells or with wings. There are also a few pictures in there of our summer reno project ( before, during and almost finished) which was a huge task and a strain on the monkeys patience but one that they are excited about none the less. I must now be off to deal with the back to school stress that is cuasing all sorts of interesting moments around here.

pushed over the edge

I try not to write to much here about my journey as parent. I have lots of reasons for that - it's a small town, stuff on the net is really public, I don't know how the boys would/will feel about it - so I often just try to blog about the good bits and make reference to the bad on occasion and move on.

The problem with all that... is some days when you have this great blog post in your head about all sorts of the good things that have been going on and all the fun you have been having and you have a limited amount of time to post it/write it as there are 7 million things going on and then your kids mess up and make you really angry - (you know the kind of angry I mean, don't pretend for a minute that you haven't been that angry at someone at some point) it's hard to sit and type a lovey dovey post about fun stuff.

Sometimes parenting is hard, sometimes there are moments when I think that perhaps it will never be good again. I am having one of those moments and I know that eventually it will pass and all will be good again, maybe. I trust that they will pull it together and not try to see just how close to the edge they can push me for a few days. Then it will happen again because that's the journey, that's our life.


So for now I am going to sit here, enjoy my gluten free beer, breathe deep and wait for P to get home because I told them they would be on time out till dinner - that's kind of a long way off, like 3 hours - but then P can play good cop when he gets home.



PS one of the really fun things I wanted to tell you about was our upcoming cottage visit with the boys little bro and big sis... we are off tomorrow morning. Here are the boys up to there usual antics with the little brother.

Freud

She is alive, has 2 broken legs and is down to 4.8lbs. She will heal with time and I am in awe of the fact that she made it home

10 days later.

This afternoon while I was busy putting up drywall and insulation ( another story) and the phone rings, it’s P , “send the kids down the driveway with treats” it takes a bit back and forthing to figure out what he is talking about and then the penny drops.
Freud, our cat had reappeared. She disappeared about 10 days ago and since we live in the country we thought that she was food for something bigger and faster than her. But no, she was hurt and somehow managed to make it all the way home on 2 paws as both on her right side seem to be injured.
I am bit astonished that she made it home as I had written her off given that she has never been gone for more than 2 days before. I will take her to the vet in the morning, hopefully the hurt paws are nothing to serious because aside from that she is the same fabulous and aloof girly that she has always been. She has spunk and some serious determination but after remembering that Digit made it home last year I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised at the ability of a determined cat.

here's to a year

of early mornings and long nights
of angry boys and happy boys
of learning and loving
of movies and playmobil
of lego and lazy days

of trial and error
of smiles and tears

of good days and bad days

of new things and old things made new

of smiles and cuddles and being a family

I am not sure how it happened but it has been a year. We've done amazing things and although there is no sugar coating around here and I won't pretend for a minute it has been easy. I wouldn't change it for anything. Here's to many more July 24ths

so... ummm.... yeah...

I am still alive, lots of reasons for not posting but most of them have to do with the chaos that has been being a parent in the summer. We are busy! Here's a quick play by play -


- had the rest of a great westcoast vacation complete with mice in my parents bathroom, bon ton cake and trying to wrangle 7 cousins from 0 to 12 into pictures and make them all smile at the same time


- home to a happy hubby and a few days to get back into the routine - very important around here

- Calvin's 9th birthday, boys, water, fruit, cake balloons - need I say more

- 3 days of running summer camp at the university in the city, (which took 3 days to set up for and 1 day to clean up).

- lots of days hanging out at home, breaking up arguing children, playing at the local splash pad.

- strawberry picking x2, freezing, eating making jam... yummy jam

- My birthday, always a good day.

- the garden, which actually sucks up tons of my free time

Today we are off to the lake because it is actually nice and we friends with cottages, we have other plans to do the same thing next week! I have lots of posts in my head about what has been up with the boys these past few weeks but I have to find time to get them out of my head and into the computer.

Did you know that on Friday the boys will of been here for a year, amazing. It is causing all sorts of stress in their little worlds but we are working on it.

One week done, one to go

And I think that it is safe to assume from the looks on their faces that they are having fun. We had a busy weekend with the cousins and friends. Lots of fun was had at the beach and amusment park ( except for the spinny ride that made me ill!) and just spending time together. My sister comes tomorrow with her kids, the rest of the week will be busy with all these monkeys running around.

with apolgies to Mr. C.Moore

T'was the night before Friday when all through the suite, not a creature was speaking,

not even a cheep.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of peacocks danced in their heads.

I in my nightgown, sat down with a cap (night cap that is) and settled myself in for a long evening nap.

When out in the park there arose such a clatter, I stood from my chair to see what was the matter. A goat stood, right there on the lawn and without much ado

he told me what made him sadder.
His friends had been shorn without any warning and their fleece lay about as if we were suffering global warming
I dreamed of the spinning I could do with that fleece but was called by the children who give me no peace


The goat went away to another friend and the fleece was left for someone else to defend.

(perhaps the very nice dulcimer man who let the boys take a pic with him and entertained us at lunch on the wharf)

we're here

and we are happy, need I say more

adoption

First off thank you for your comments on my last post, I haven't had a chance to respond but I appreciate them. Lyn's memorial will be on Saturday and although I did look into trying to get to the west coast a few days earlier I could not of gone because the boys don't have passports, they don't even have birth certificates with their new last name. So I won't being going.

But I am heading to the coast on Monday for 2 weeks and am looking forward to the smell of the ocean and some time on the island.

Last week I went away for 3 whole days!I stayed in hotel, I ate out, I talked to other adults. It was great, but it wasn't a vacation. I went to do some training to help provide post adoption support in my county. Right now there are no established services for families after adoption and we definitely need some. So I went to take a class to be PRIDE trainer.

PRIDE - (Parent Resources for Information, Development, Education) is a great program that we took before we adopted, it is mandated in the province of Ontario. At the time I found the whole thing to be a bit of a waste of time, but now looking back and reviewing the material again a year later I feel really differently. It's a great program and does teach you a lot about how the system works and what it may be like to be a parent of kids from the system.

One of the movies that you watch during PRIDE is Multiple Transitions, it's great. (You can watch it here or click the link). It talks about the journey children go on as they enter into care and begin to move around. It is a journey my boys went on, it's sad but at the same time a compelling piece.




PS Thanks Lisafor posting the link!

A good Woman

A beautiful woman died today, in fact one of the most beautiful woman I have ever been privileged enough to call family. She was one of those old family friends who your parents talk about with awe, but who you never get to see enough of. She was a strong talented woman who taught me to stand up for myself, to believe in my dreams and reach for the stars.

I was lucky enough to get to see her last year when P and I went to Mexico and I am so glad that I did. We spent a great day cruising through the city and talking about life, love and family.

Lynn sang, oh did she sing and when my brother got married she sang at his wedding. Ever since then this song has made me think of her fondly and wish that she was not so far away. Now I will remember her when I hear it and know that I am privileged to of had her as a part of my life

What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

random wed - on wed - how novel.

• I'm tired
• We gave one of the dogs away last week. Bella was a sweet girl but if I has known that we were getting boys I never would of kept her last spring when I was selling the rest of the litter. I miss her but it is better and by all accounts she is doing great and happily chasing her new Papa all over the place.
• The boys are having a really hard time with the fact that she left, they are not saying it but showing us with all sorts of brilliant and exhausting ( for me) behaviour.
• I should be making dinner.
• It is really windy today and I keep having to fix the clothes on the line
• Much of the vegetable garden is in, my room can almost stop being a greenhouse.
• I am going to away ( without my boys) next week to do some training to help provide some much needed post adoption support in my county. I am excited.
• We are leaving for Victoria in 18 days - boys are excited - I get exhausted just thinking about them contained in a plane for 6 hours. There is no amount of coffee that can give me the energy I will need that day.
• I am looking very forward to being near my ocean for awhile, I miss my ocean when we are apart and yes it is my ocean, the rest of you can share it if you like but it is mine.
• There has been some knitting on a Tomten jacket I started last summer but I picked up other needles to knit the sleeves and the gauge is looser, I am trying to decide whether to frog the sleeve or just live with it loose.
• I have also been knitting finger puppets and socks that I have also been knitting since last summer.
• I want to be knitting a shawl or something else just for ME!
• JoVE is dangerously close to actually moving here to my end of the world and I am excited to have her around the corner in country terms
• Other fabulous women are planning on moving this way this fall and that really excites me as well.
• School is almost done which excites and terrifies me at the same time. I am done with lunches and homeowrk and teachers.
• It is my nephews 7th birthday today, when did that happen, isn't he still just a little.
• The boys keep harassing me and calling me so I guess that means I really should move on to making something to feed them. THe fresh air diet doesn't seem to be filling up their tummies.
• I got a fabulous mothers day gift from this etsy shop, it's really cute, I also have some of her earrings that say knit and purl. She's local and that makes it even better.
• I'll be back later when my children have been fed a few meals

PS - I mailed my boys someI love you cards this week, it was reallly cute to see their faces when they figured out that I had sent them mail. It wasn't my idea but I'll take the credit.

but we were looking for bugs....

Not sure if you can read that but it 1939, this wall has been here since 1939





The boys decided they should take it apart to look for bugs. They told us it was because they liked to play with rocks and look for bugs.

I think that they have been cured of their need to play with rocks and our garden is a lot less rocky now.

an open letter

Dear Blog,

I am sorry that I have neglected you over the last weeks, things have been very busy. I realize that you require my time and energy to run properly but we are at a point where just about everything requires time and energy from me in order to run smoothly. A girl can only do so many things before she falls into bed at the end of the day and although I appreciate all the great people you have introduced me to and all the friends you have helped me to make you are no match for the garden.

We are heading into the planting season and what little extra time I have is spent getting my hands and feet filthy. I love that it is warm enough to work the earth, that plants are growing and summer is coming. I would rather be outside than in most days and if I am outside I playing with dirt not typing.

So dear blog I am sorry if you are feeling abandoned, I will do my best to tend to you more closely in the coming weeks, although you have to compete with 2 boys who have very busy schedules and a garden who will demand more from me as the summer progresses rather then less. Perhaps you will be happy with pictures, lots of pictures and not to many words.

Thank you for understanding
J.

PS - there has also been some knitting but I didn't want to make you feel too jealous all at once.
PPS - just to remind you that we have been at this for 5 years this month, can you believe it!

Daily Drama

So we try around here to do our part to be more green and energy conscience, we dry our clothes on the line for as long as we possibly can without me losing a digit to frostbite. I am happy to dry my clothes on the line, happy to do a load or 2 each day and walk them to the back of the house and hang them up. Happy to do it as long and the damn clothes pins stop self destructing! Okay I can appreciate that they are inexpensive to begin with and that really there is probably no quality control inspector at the clothes pin factory but seriously to lose that many ( out of a brand new package) in one day all because of a little wind is a bit extreme as far as I am concerned. I will save my rant about my inability to buy more bamboo clothes pins for another day

Upon retrieving the boy from school today the first words out of his mouth...
C: Mom, I got hurt today
Me: I see that, what happened
C: Well I was playing water buffalo's (Water buffalo's what happened to dino's and tigers) at recess and I didn't see N. and I ran into his head with my head.
Me: oh my, is he ok?
C: Yeah I got the worst of it because I was the bigger water buffalo.
This would be the same boy who narrowly and I mean narrowly missed getting his eye poked out by his brother with a stick a few weeks ago, same eye. Good thing Children's Aid knows us already!

and just cause he is so darn cute and was having so much fun.

Helpless

My day has been consumed by something that I must speak of cryptically and as much as I want to make it better it is something that I can do nothing about.

A foster child in my town is in crisis and I want to make it all better. I want to explain to all the people involved that child is acting out because she feels as though she is not being heard. She is trying to get the adults who control her life to say that they will not abandon her. She is screaming at them to leave her and yet that is the last thing that she needs at this point. she is tryign to get people to listen and they are not really listening, well they are listening but just to the wrong things.

She needs those adults to hold her and love her and tell her no matter what she does they will not leave her. They aren't saying that. They are tired and worn out by her behaviour. They love her but are spent by the constant pushing away, she is afraid of attachment, afraid of being loved and they are at the end of their rope. Like most kids with attachment issues she is a master manipulator and is doing an excellent job at winning over people outside her home and convincing them that she is poor and mistreated.

Tragically they (the guardians) are controlled by the system and the system has to investigate the situation. I am unsure as how it will turn out, I know what is in the child's best interest may get over looked because there is only so much people can handle.

I want to make it all better but I am helpless in the situation. I have said my piece to those who would listen and now I have to sit back and watch.... it is very hard to do!